April = No Sex at Middlesex

So where to begin with this night…. our energy was not too high to start with because although it is almost the end of April it is also rainy and cold in Boston. This bad weather meant yet another night of wearing tights with the outfit. We decided we probably couldn’t handle going to a big legit dance club but we wanted a place with music so after searching Yelp for a bit we found Middlesex which was rated four stars, only had a $5 cover, and offered Ten Cane rum. It seemed like a reasonable idea to go.

The weather was making us grumpy...

When we arrived the DJ was just setting up so we got a drink and stood awkwardly in the middle of the big industrial kind of room. There were maybe two tables along the wall and the bar at one end of the space but other then that the “lounge” was just like a big old empty store-front. I think they were trying to go for that sparse, unfinished loft feel but the effect was like being at a middle school dance, it was difficult to mingle with other people.

Middlesex Lounge

The DJ came on and played an interesting collection of 80s funk music. I am trying to think of the exact genre but it is difficult to say. The music was definitely 80s because one of the songs was George Benson’s “Give me the Night”. Now I know for a fact that my parents used to BLAST this song when we were growing up so I don’t think I ever expected it to be played at a dance club. Hey, maybe I should give my parents more credit for hanging right there with the hipsters all these years. So the music got a little old after a while because there wasn’t much variety. I am sure Rachel and I looked like wet rags on the dance floor because we didn’t really know how to move. However, there were several groups of enthusiastic dancers. One couple was really going at it from an early time. They appeared to either be on a very first date set up through an online dating website in which they each listed “dancing” as an interest or they were on the autism spectrum. They were both dancing very vigorously but left space in between them that could have fit a whole other couple. They did not speak to each other or make eye contact but the man was definitely doing the snake move and the girl looked like she was air-humping. There was also a middle-aged female duo who was really backing it up. Perhaps when Rachel and I get to that age we will finally loose all inhibitions on the dance floor.

Another problem with Middlesex was that the male-to-female ratio was definitely not in our favor. The men that were there seemed to have come with their own boyfriends or girlfriends. After a while of standing around and finishing our drinks we decided to leave a little after 11pm. As we left the place we were astonished to see that a line had formed all the way down the block. It was still rainy and cold outside. I am constantly surprised by people who wait in line to get into mediocre clubs when if they had come just an hour earlier they would be inside.

Outside: People were lined up past the club

After this lounge mishap we needed a snack so we headed to the Middle East which is such a trusty destination. We had delicious humus (they spelled it hoomis), falafel, and a very dark Dark ‘n’ Stormy. The only interaction of the evening came when the guy in the booth behind us turned around and asked us how we were doing and what we were eating. He announced he had just had humus for the first time in New York last week. What a pick-up line.

Conclusion: Middlesex is not a good or fun place to go if you are single. It may be more enjoyable if you go with your partner, online date or group of friends. Get there around 10pm to avoid waiting in line. If you really just want something reliable go to the Middle East where people drink PBR in cans and they play the Clash.